Archive for April 2005

starcrossed saturday

I woke up feeling a little under the weather today. I think it’s mainly a result of working too hard, sleeping too little and exercising not at all for about a month.

I went to get a haircut, and the place was full. They told me to come back in 10 minutes, and when I did, their power was out.

I also finally got through to Singapore Airlines to change my flight, but there are no business class seats available to either San Francisco or Los Angeles next Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I’m confirmed for Monday the 18th, but I’m supposed to be back in the SF office that day, so I had them put me on the waitlist for all of Saturday’s flights.

Anyway, I’m off to Vietnam in a few hours, and I hope I can shake all this mildly bad luck out of my day before I go.

local rhythm

Every place has its rhythm.

The rhythm of a place is expressed in the pace and density of foot traffic. It’s expressed by the number of people who stand on escalators compared to the number who walk. It’s expressed in the amount of eye contact. It’s expressed through the presence or absence of a musical score – in buses, taxis, shops, alleys and pubs. It’s expressed in the negotiations between pedestrians and drivers – and between drivers and drivers. It’s expressed by the number of people who hurry to work compared to the number who hurry home.

It takes a while to understand the rhythm of a place, and even longer to feel it. You spend the first few weeks in a new city constantly stepping in and out of the way of other people. You walk into the street after failing to look to your right (or left) first, and you’re thankful for the honking car or the friendly tug on your collar from the person behind you. You step onto a bus and fumble around for your change, wondering why you didn’t have it ready like you always do at home. You hold doors for people who aren’t entering or exiting. You stand in the wrong queue and don’t find out until you’re at the front.

And then one day you realise you’re moving with the flow. Even after a couple of days, you find you’re better at navigating and negotiating a place.

I’ve been in Singapore long enough now to notice the newly-arrived. I still spend a certain amount of my time in people’s way, skipping and dodging, and recovering from near collisions, but I’m a little more graceful then I was a few months ago.

My inability to move to the local rhythm has resurfaced more intensely each time I’ve journeyed out from here – to Thailand, Vietnam, Shanghai. Especially Shanghai.

It’s a great experience to observe onesself fumbling around and then slowly starting to get it. Each time, I feel a little like Steve Martin’s character in The Jerk.

I just had my first real weekend in ages. I hardly worked at all and mainly enjoyed wandering somewhat aimlessly around the city for two whole days. I enjoyed feeling the rhythm of Singapore again.

mummy’s choice

As my Sunday was getting started, I received a text message from a friend asking, “is it u in the papers 2day?”

I thought, oh god…

I grabbed my copy of the Sunday Times from outside my apartment door, and on the front page I quickly noticed the headline, Cleo’s eligible bachelors: He’s not mummy’s choice next to a photo of floorballer Lionel Sing (one of the Cleo 50). I flipped to the article and saw this…

I especially like the caption, and how I represent mummy’s idea of a “mature” partner. Here’s a key excerpt:

Her daughter is just 21-years-old, but Madam Chua Eng Keow thinks the 36-year-old Shawn Smith is the perfect date for her daughter… The 52-year-old housewife picked the IT consultant from the magazine’s list…and was unfazed by the 15-year age difference. Madam Chua chose Mr. Smith because she believes that, at 36, he would be more accommodating than a younger man.

‘At present, my daughter may want a younger boyfriend who can have fun with her, but I think when she grows older she’ll change her mind and prefer a more mature partner’

What, I’m too old to have fun?

bachelors (redux) and brix

Work has thankfully slowed down a bit…

Well, that’s not quite true. There’s just as much work as ever, but I’ve decided to return to a more humane schedule regardless.

Thursday night, I went to Brix for the first time – along with a colleague – on the recommendation of one of my clients, who told me it’s his favourite club in Singapore. Brix is fairly notorious for being full of working girls, but my client told me this is less true on weeknights. He said Thursday night is a good night to go, and this was corroborated by some female friends (who happened to add that in any case the working girls there are usually really cute). All my friends also described the club as being fairly “upscale,” with a good lineup of DJs and cover bands playing solid R & B.

The buzz on Brix turned out to be true. Inside, there were working girls everywhere, clinging to creepy old European guys (who, incidentally, outnumbered every other demographic in the place). Mostly, I find I’m uncomfortable observing interactions between these two tribes, although on this night it was interesting to see that even working girls have their standards.

I saw several of them dismiss a heavily-perspiring, aggressively unfashionable (white shoes, golf shirt tucked into jeans) guy on the dance floor, and I watched one girl shake her head at a decent-looking guy as she made a sign-language gesture regarding his wedding ring.

My friends were also right about the music. The band was taking a break when we arrived, but the house DJ was spinning out the likes of Marvin Gaye, Stevie, the Black-Eyed Peas. The band started their next set with Sly Stone, followed by some kind of Greek folk slash dance jam fusion (the lead singer was a funky-looking Eurasian woman whose hair was finely braided with strands of coloured ribbon, George Clinton style).

We stood there soaking up the music for a little while, and then there was a tap on my shoulder. Three college girls had come up, and they were asking me if I would keep an eye on their handbags while they danced. I’d never gotten such an “assignment” in a club before, and I didn’t really know what to do except say, “sure.”

A song or two later, they pulled me out onto the floor to join them. As we danced, I noticed they were wearing CLEO bracelets. I asked them about these, and they said they’d just been to the bachelors’ party. I’d completely forgotten when the CLEO event was happening, and the girls went on to tell me the after party was going on next door as we spoke.

I still feel a little sad to have missed it. If I were a few years younger (like, not older than the other 49 bachelors maybe), and if I’d had a few hours of free time last month, I’m sure I would have gotten into the whole experience. The CLEO staff were hard-working, sweet and a lot of fun. Not to mention a group of cute, eligible bachelorettes in their own right. The few other bachelors I met – including Hali (the second oldest) and Brendan (the winner) – seem like great guys.

Taking a second look at it, my bachelor bail-out posting from a few weeks ago sounds so gloomy – and even bitter. I was really, really burnt out when I wrote it, and it doesn’t paint a very accurate picture of my feelings, now or then. It’s true that I felt a little outside the demographic of the group of bachelors, so it seemed like I’d have to spend a little extra energy to fit in. If I’d had any spare energy at all last month, I would have given it a go. I would have liked to have totally embraced the experience and lived it fully. When it was all said and done, I would have liked to have written a funny little piece about it. But I was simply out of gas.

Being selected at all will go down as a great memory, and the magazine itself is one of the best life-souvenirs I could imagine.

Anyway, the three college girls at Brix got a chuckle out of the fact they were dancing with “uncle bachelor” and one of them offered a kind compliment: She said that if I’d been among the guys at the party, the ‘hottie factor’ would have been higher. Very sweet of her.