Archive for January 2008

Stupid product of the week: OJ Insanity

Tropicana Orange Juice Insanity

From the image above, you know I’m not talking about the notorious former football great.

In case you’re counting, yes, that’s twelve varieties of Tropicana orange juice. Twelve! And that’s not including the orange juice blends (orange-tangerine, orange-pineapple and orange-strawberry-banana).

There are varieties to suit various pulp-tolerances of course, but also tastes (low acid) and nutritional needs (calcium, fiber). There’s an orange juice for kids for some reason, one just for your heart and one to “reduce the effects of oxidation.”

Next up, maybe we’ll see one just for men (Tropicana E.D.), one for seniors (Tropicana Hip Therapy), dogs (Tropicana Liver and Bacon), hell, why not senior dogs (again, I suppose, Tropicana Hip Therapy).

If that’s not enough, maybe Tropicana will scrap them all and replace them with an in-store orange juice configurator kiosk. You dial your pulp up or down, add any combination of nutrients, answer some demographic and lifestyle questions and… voila: personalized orange juice.

Until then, make room in your pantry.

Guilty Pleasure

When I was a kid, my parents controlled my TV diet, and while I was hardly deprived, I was never at risk of becoming a glutton. After school each day, I was allowed to 30 minutes of TV time – enough for one show. Our TV set was a 17″ black and white with the obligatory rabbit ears. It was old and sad, even for its day. It sat in the corner of my parents’ bedroom, probably because that was the only place where it could get decent reception, and I remember sitting on the corner of my parents’ bed, joyfully, for my daily dose.

Three Stooges

There were, if I remember correctly, six channels: NBC, ABC, CBS, PBS and two UHF channels. I would rush home from school to watch Ultraman, Spider-Man, The Little Rascals or The Three Stooges (although my mom ultimately banned this last one, after I started reenacting the stooges’ antics on my younger sister).

Sometime in college I stopped watching TV. I think I just didn’t have time. I also didn’t have a TV. This abstinence phase continued after I moved to New York, then Arizona and well into my life here in the Bay Area. I won’t say I missed it, but this was probably due to not really knowing what I was missing. I will say that through those years, whenever I encountered “ambient” television – in many bars, for example – I was powerless to look away.

All this ended a few years ago when I signed up for DirecTV, with TiVo (before they switched to their own DVR). It was like going from a tricycle to a Ferrari. I had never been one to proselytize about the evils of the idiot box but still, for the first few months, I kept my conversion secret. I considered TV to be junk food for the mind, and while I never begrudged anyone their right to a tasty – if unhealthy – snack, it was also not something to be proud of.

Gradually though, I began to make exceptions for certain shows. Then more and more. Until finally I had to acknowledge that there are a whole lot of good things on TV. It’s not 57 channels and nothing on. It’s 500 channels, and trying to optimize my TV viewing to see as much of the good stuff as possible.

CD cover meme

Strangers - Even for the King

Came across this fun design exercise via the xblog today. My entry is above. Instructions below:

  1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
    The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
  2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
    The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
  3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
    The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
  4. Tag it on flickr “CD Cover Meme”

Voila! Instant music career.

The war of dependence

President Bush is touring the Middle East right now, and he has made sure to bluster about Iran’s fictional nuclear ambitions at every stop, but oil has been the main topic on his agenda. Yesterday he met with Saudi leader, King Abdullah and tried to persuade him to up his country’s production, in order to stabilize prices.

Bush argued that high oil prices will cause the US to import less oil, and therefore less money will flow from American wallets into royal Saudi Arabian wallets. The problem with this argument (other than the notion of protecting the exchange of our cash for Saudi palaces and ponies) is that the increasing demand for oil in China, India and the rest of the developing world will more than offset any decrease in US imports.

Saudi Arabia shrugs.

In the 1970s, before the Ayatollah overthrew the Shah, Iran was one of our main sources of imported oil. The Iranian Revolution of 1979 triggered an energy crisis when in November of that year, President Carter cut off oil imports from Iran. This marked the beginning of the end for Carter, who famously proposed to the American people that the solution to the crisis was to conserve. “Wear sweaters,” he told us.

The thing is, we’re addicted to oil, and to conserve is… well… un-American. The Reagan administration saw the light, and Saudi Arabia became our new best friend in the Middle East.

Fast-forward to 2008. Iran is still chock full of oil, so it should come as no surprise that our current president has steadfastly ignored the U.S. Intelligence Estimate finding that Iran stopped pursuing its nuclear ambitions in 2003. Iran has oil. We want it. We need it. Therefore we need Iran to be a threat, just like we needed Iraq to be a threat, because President Bush needs to guarantee access to oil.

Consider the following:

  • Current US consumption of oil is 20.7 million barrels per day.
  • The US strategic reserves contain 689 million barrels.
  • Factor in our domestic production, and without imports we have about 60 days of oil to burn before it’s all gone.

Bush’s commitment to keeping oil lines open is not sinister in itself. The reality is, our economy would cease to function without foreign oil, and that would hurt every single one of us, probably more than we can imagine. If Bush had simply told the truth – we need a steady supply of oil from Iraq in order for our economy to function, therefore we need a more stable and sympathetic regime there – he would not have gotten the necessary support from Congress or the American people. So he used terrorism as a pretense.

Now Bush is trying to do it again, with Iran.

The war in Iraq is about oil. Few people would dispute that. Some would say it was waged simply to take the oil, while others argue that it is being waged in order to create a stable regional ally who will reliably sell us oil. It’s probably the latter, but it doesn’t really matter. The war is about oil.

To ensure access to Iraq’s oil, we are paying $275 million per day. How much would it cost to expand the war to Iran?

So, to summarize, we consume an enormous amount of oil. We have dangerously little oil of our own, so we need everything we can get from the Middle East. To maintain this dynamic of dependence, we are willing to invest $275 million per day and hundreds of thousands of American lives (because it’s not just the lives lost that we are investing, but the hard work of all the soldiers) in a war.

This is the true cost of oil, which is not represented at the pump. The $3-plus that you pay per gallon does not include the costs of tax subsidies to the oil industry, the subsidies for the extraction, production, and use of petroleum, the military costs of protecting access to oil supplies – not to mention health care costs for treating respiratory illnesses ranging from asthma to emphysema, or finally, the costs of climate change. If we factored all this into the price of gasoline, it would cost about $15 per gallon, according to a study (pdf) by the International Center for Technology Assessment.

Are we getting a good return on this investment? Does it have a future? What else could we do with $275 million per day and the hard work of hundreds of thousands of people we’re spending just on the Iraq war?

$275 million per day works out to about $100 billion per year which, according to one study, could pay for…

  • Reforesting the earth (6 billion)
  • Stabilizing water tables around the world (10 billion)
  • Restoring all the world’s fisheries (13 billion)
  • Protecting topsoil on the world’s croplands (24 billion)
  • Providing universal basic health care to everyone on the planet (33 billion)
  • Providing universal primary education to every child on the planet (12 billion)
  • And finally, for good measure, closing the condom gap (2 billion)

Before you get into a tizzy, the figures above reflect additional money that would need to be spent on the various initiatives, rather than the total figures. These are all things, like the military, that only cost us money. They don’t generate any, which is why I didn’t compare the military spending on the Iraq war to money we could invest in, say, developing alternative energy sources. We’d actually make money if we did that.

It’s good to know we have our priorities straight.

Thoughts on the Hollywood Writers’ Strike

Some kind of silly excuse for a Golden Globe Awards ceremony took place last night, with no speeches, performances or jokes – just winners announced by unknown non-celebrities who had the look of Star Search contestants in the “spokesmodel” category.

The impact of the writers’ strike on the event and activities surrounding it reportedly cost the Los Angeles economy anywhere from 75 to 100 million dollars. If the Oscars suffer the same fate – which looks likely – the blow will be much bigger.

The producers who are the target of the strike represent only a slice of that pie, but even if you consider the whole thing, $100 million is small potatoes compared to the amount the producers would give up by submitting to the writers’ demands, so a couple of missed awards shows probably won’t cause them to blink an eye.

The other problem for the writers is that the strike hasn’t had the expected crippling effect on the quality or quantity of television available to viewers like me. Sure I miss a couple of shows, but I was watching too many anyway. Now, with the writers’ strike going on, I can still watch my favorite reality shows (lately, Kitchen Nightmares, The Dog Whisperer, Survivorman, No Reservations and Top Chef), and I can watch other shows in reruns that I didn’t make room for before. With my favorite scripted shows on hold for a while, I’m enjoying my chance to give my second choices – shows like Friday Night Lights, The Office and Lost – their due.

The only show I was really painfully missing was The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, but that’s back on now. Woohoo!

The bottom line is, I’m not sure how much pain the strike is delivering to the wallets of the producers, which is why no one expects it to end anytime soon. There’s simply too much good TV left on the air for the strike to make much of a financial impact.

Even if this was not true, or even if the writers hold out long enough to dent the supply of good television, they still might not hit the producers where it hurts, because, as a product, television follows a demand curve much like that of a controlled substance. With television, as with cocaine or cigarettes, a reduction in supply has little effect on demand. Watching television is the default leisure activity for Americans. We do it out of habit. We’ll keep doing it whether or not there’s anything worth watching.

The thing is, the writers are in the right. They deserve a piece of the web revenues, and the producers are greedy bastards for not allowing that. Maybe the force of public opinion will ultimately be enough to sway the producers. Maybe the strike will hurt their moral sensibilities, and that will be enough.

Or maybe there are enough good people in Hollywood to eventually force a bottom-up victory. Maybe the string of isolated side deals already happening between shows and their respective writers will reach a critical mass and lead to an industry-wide agreement.

It has happened before.

Stupid product of the week: PUR Flavored Water Filter

PUR Flavor

Is it really too much trouble to add flavor to your water after you pour it?

I was busy washing dishes while my girlfriend was watching TV in the background (yeah, that’s how things roll at my house), when a commercial for PUR Flavored Water Filters came on. I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t want to believe my ears. Once, under similar circumstances I’d mis-heard a commercial for “Immodium EZ Chews” as “Immodium Easy Cheese” (which actually makes some sense), so it wouldn’t be the first time I made up a fictional product based on partially overheard background TV.

But alas, this one is real, and quick perusal of the blogopolis reveals that the proletariat (as Tony would say) is in favor of this one…

I am interested in trying Pur flavored water from my tap at home. Where can I purchase the filter? Thank you.

I really want this! I have the regular PUR filtration system, and now I want the flavor one!!! I can’t find it anywhere though. Where is a place to pick one up?

I’m looking into getting this. My brother goes through a case of water every 3 days and that’s pushing it. Besides I need to drink more and this would get me started as I do like the Dasani flavored waters.

Humanity is doomed.

Interestingly, Dr. Tanase’s blog points out a problem with the PUR flavored filters that goes beyond the sheer inanity of them:

These new “flavored” filters add two excitotoxins to your liquid nourishment – Sucralose and Acesulfame-K. And if those harmful chemicals and the 92 side effects they’re known to cause (like these) weren’t enough, they also added a yummy dose of antifreeze (propylene glycol) to the mix.

Yum.

Cloverfield

Whoa.

I saw this trailer for J.J. Abrams’ new movie, Cloverfield, a while back, and it looks awesome. I love the idea of a big budget Hollywood movie shot as home video.

Chad is a douchebag

Chad from the Alltel commercials

Am I the only one who wants to punch my TV whenever I see Chad on those Alltel commercials? He reminds me of the pretty rich boy from every teen movie – the one who dates the popular girl, drives a fancy car and treats everyone around him like shit. It doesn’t help that the other characters in the commercials are the kinds of lovable geeks we remember fondly from those same movies.

Wouldn’t the Alltel commercials be much better if the archetypes were reversed – one scrappy geek vs. the big popular kids – and we could root for the underdog? Wouldn’t that make much more sense, since Alltel is an underdog company in its industry?

Even Alltel seems to sort of think so, based on the fact that the geeks (who represent other mobile phone companies) are the main focus of each commercial – because they’re funny – while Chad gets barely a frame and has almost no lines.

I don’t want to talk to my car

I’ve been seeing a lot of advertisements for cars that feature voice recognition technology. Like this clever one for Ford’s SYNC:

Or this one for the Ford Focus:

I enjoy these commercials, but I’m not buying what they’re selling. SYNC might be cool, and it could even save my life by automatically dialing 911 after an accident.The thing is, I could talk to my car too if I wanted to. But I don’t. I’d feel like a complete jackass talking to my car. Is that weird?

This reminds me of some focus groups I helped run about six years ago when I was working for Vodafone. We had people evaluate a variety of smart phones and PDA devices, using them to interact with various applications, send and receive text messages and just make phone calls. People appeared to love the PDAs for their big screens and QWERTY keyboards, but when all was said and done, these were their least favorite devices.

The big displays, keyboards and loads of cool features were all trumped by the fact that people felt stupid holding these big clunky gadgets up to their ears while making phone calls.

How to tell if Google is going to kill (or acquire) your business

I recently got Google Analytics wired up on this blog, and it’s a pretty nifty application. It’s perfect for a small-fry like me, but as I browse the web, I occasionally find it running on some pretty high-profile, high-volume websites, so I wonder what its impact has been on the incumbents.

I’ve had some exposure to Omniture SiteCatalyst, WebTrends and a few other analytics platforms – many of which require training and experience to really get their full benefit. Many times as a consultant, I met clients who religiously deleted the regular email reports sent by their analytics package of choice, because they didn’t understand it, or what they understood of it was not interesting. Simplicity often trumps power.

This is what Google has become astonishingly good at.

Search, maps, email, AdWords, AdSense and now analytics and OpenSocial (plus much more of course). On the surface, these are useful, reliable, elegantly-designed services. They other thing they have in common is what they give Google.

Each of these provides Google with a powerful window into what people want from the Internet. Maps, for example, tells Google a lot about what people want from local search, as well as other real-world behavioral data around travel and commerce.

Google Analytics and the OpenSocial API represent gold mines for Google with regard to the data they get access to.

Using the same philosophy, but with a slightly different goal in mind, Google admitted that a big reason for launching their free 411 service was to gather data for developing speech recognition algorithms.

With their hands on all this data – especially data that no one else can gather very well – Google effectively becomes the world’s most powerful information broker. They can use the data to improve their own products or power new ones, of course, but they can also sell it in a marketplace where there’s an almost limitless demand for it. They will surely make some of it available in the form of APIs, but probably in ways that will enable them to gather even more data.

Which brings me back to the title of this post.

If you’ve built a business that depends on a category of data that Google might covet, especially data that’s not adequately represented in Google’s portfolio, then there are two ways Google might rock your world.

In the first scenario, you are like Omniture or MapQuest. Your goal has been to provide an essential service, and you haven’t really given the data that flows through your application very much thought. Maybe you even made it a core principle of your business to keep your eyes and hands off that data, to protect what is proprietary or private to your customers. Finally, your service is not all that difficult to build. Outlook: Google replicates your business and claims a devastating (for you) slice of your market.

In the second scenario, you’ve built an application or service that is utterly about a particular kind of data. In fact, you are aware that if the application that uses it were to simply go away, or if your initial target market were to become suddenly irrelevant, you know you could build something different using the same data – or sell the data itself. Finally, the data that drives your application is unique and difficult to acquire, and you’ve spent a lot of time and effort on that core problem. Outlook: Google makes a killer offer.

What business will Google target next? Will they kill an incumbent or bless a scrappy startup?