flights

I’m officially retiring this blog, so if you want to keep reading what I’m writing, head to my new home page at www.metapede.com.

Well, go ahead.

My friend Rebecca is thinking about purchasing a scooter. Not a leg-powered one (like the “Razor” that was so popular with dot-commers), but a real electric or gas job. She was asking me whether I thought it would be risky for her to park it on the street outside her apartment in the Mission (SF neighborhood), and we got to talking about ways she might prevent it from being stolen…

• A really big lock (duh, but doesn’t prevent someone from simply picking it up and tossing the scooter – lock and all – into the back of a truck)
• Cripple it (kill switch type of thing)
• Fake dog poo on the seat (the scarecrow approach)
• LoJack
• Secret GPS, hidden somewhere on the scooter (homemade LoJack)
• Stun Gun (explained by some shirtless dude)
• A laminated copy of her bank acount, stuck to the handlebars (hoping for the sympathy vote)
• A vial of crack, right on the seat – free for the taking (eliminate the middleman – i.e. take the crack, not the bike)

Anything else?

“Hillary can’t win, and Obama can’t beat her.”

This seems to be the bottom line in the endless slog toward choosing the Democrat who will run against McCain this fall.

Obama’s platform is “change,” so it’s ironic that nothing changed in the six weeks between Super Tuesday and the Pennsylvania primary.

The American people are certainly craving change, starving for it, so why can’t Obama close the deal? Is he offering the wrong kind of change? Too much change? Too little? Too unspecific?

I admit I’ve sort of stopped paying attention to the Democratic race because frankly the media coverage is painful (all bowling scores, flag pins and other sensationalist trivia), and the candidates themselves seem intent on wallowing in the muck. But when I was more actively following the campaigns of Obama and Clinton, my impression was consistent with the early primary results: Obama was incandescent, dynamic, something new. Clinton was pedestrian, wonky (not to mention cool, ruthless, shrewish).

Obama’s “change” has a lot to do with rejecting the politics of polarization. Obama’s message is about hope and unity (“yes WE can”). When the American people first heard his words, they resonated, and he performed well in the early races. The idea of unity (“not red states and blue states… but the UNITED States”) is powerful, and it’s what Americans want.

But it’s not enough, and that’s what Hillary recognized. That’s why she has been so effective in the last couple of months.

The last eight years have certainly been polarizing, but they have also been characterized by incompetence, arrogance, secrecy and dishonesty. Obama has got the honesty issue in the bag, and he’s effectively positioned himself as the candidate who can unify the country. But Hillary has done a much better job on the issue of competence. On openness and humility it’s probably a toss-up.

Americans want all of this, and so the two candidates – together – sum up the change Americans are craving. That’s the real reason the voters are split almost down the middle. For Hillary to have any hope of securing the nomination (and the presidency), she needs to convince America that she is honest, open and can be a unifying force (not gonna happen). For Obama to win, he needs to convince America that he is no less competent than Clinton.

The inventor of Dungeons and Dragons has run out of hit points. Gary Gygax, the man responsible for some of my most unproductive yet beloved hours died this week.

I discovered D & D at a summer camp just after I finished eighth grade. Before that, I was a normal kid, playing volleyball with other kids… outside. Then I wandered into one of the cabins where a bunch of boys with braces and eyeglasses, who had never talked to girls, huddled over mysterious pieces of paper and rolled strange gem-like dice. These guys were the stereotype of D & D kids, and I was hooked.

The fantasy known as Dubai, home of the world’s only 7-star hotel, is planning to burn another billion or so on what will be the world’s largest and tallest spanning arch bridge, The 6th Crossing:

(rendering by FXFOWLE)

Obscene displays of money are nothing new to Dubai, and why not? They might as well spend everything they can as fast as they can, because in 100 years I’m guessing Dubai will look something like…

(photo by daarkfire)

Came across this fun design exercise via the xblog today. My entry is above. Instructions below:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
   The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
   The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
   The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
4. Tag it on flickr “CD Cover Meme”

Voila! Instant music career.

Is it really too much trouble to add flavor to your water after you pour it?

I was busy washing dishes while my girlfriend was watching TV in the background (yeah, that’s how things roll at my house), when a commercial for PUR Flavored Water Filters came on. I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t want to believe my ears. Once, under similar circumstances I’d mis-heard a commercial for “Immodium EZ Chews” as “Immodium Easy Cheese” (which actually makes some sense), so it wouldn’t be the first time I made up a fictional product based on partially overheard background TV.

But alas, this one is real, and quick perusal of the blogopolis reveals that the proletariat (as Tony would say) is in favor of this one…

I am interested in trying Pur flavored water from my tap at home. Where can I purchase the filter? Thank you.

I really want this! I have the regular PUR filtration system, and now I want the flavor one!!! I can’t find it anywhere though. Where is a place to pick one up?

I’m looking into getting this. My brother goes through a case of water every 3 days and that’s pushing it. Besides I need to drink more and this would get me started as I do like the Dasani flavored waters.

Humanity is doomed.

Interestingly, Dr. Tanase’s blog points out a problem with the PUR flavored filters that goes beyond the sheer inanity of them:

These new “flavored” filters add two excitotoxins to your liquid nourishment – Sucralose and Acesulfame-K. And if those harmful chemicals and the 92 side effects they’re known to cause (like these) weren’t enough, they also added a yummy dose of antifreeze (propylene glycol) to the mix.

Yum.

I upgraded my WordPress software, and I’m theoretically able to filter comment spam now. I got a handful of new blog posts in the works, so it’s a brand new year.

My friend Jonathan pointed me to The Fendertones – a project our old boss, Tony Rose, has been working on to reconstruct The Beach Boys original recordings in live performances. Here’s the description from The Fendertones website:

No details were spared to recreate the sounds of the original recordings. Using period correct instruments, the music featured everything from marimbas and accordians to horns and strings…the keyboardist even built what is most likely the only exact replica of Paul Tanner’s electro-Theremin that he played on the original “Good Vibrations”

As my friend Jonathan put it, “So if the recording has 5 beach boys singing 3 parts each they need 15 singers to do it live, and if a 1963 Fender guitar played 2 parts and was redoubled in the recording session they need 4 1963 Fender guitars. You get the picture.”

Just in time for the holidays, here are the Fendertones doing “Little Saint Nick.”

It really bugs me… They say, ‘Oh, David Beckham – he’s not very clever.’ Yeah. They don’t say, ‘Stephen Hawking – shit at football.’

- Paul Calf