So why no blog posts?

Well, my official excuse is I’m working on a redesign of my website, and as part of that effort I’ll be splitting this blog into four separate blogs. So that’s quite a bit of work.

Also, I’ve been exercising for an hour every day after work, I’m reading a couple of books, I just built a website for my brother’s girlfriend to showcase her paintings, and I’m working on a similar one for my dad.

In short, my plate is full, but I hope to get back to blogging soon.

It’s taken me a few days to write this post, partly because I’ve been busy (remarkable in itself, since I’m officially unemployed right now), and partly because I’m still not really sure what I want to say.

David Foster Wallace committed suicide last Friday, and the world lost an acrobatic writer and a dazzling mind. People either love or hate his fractured, self-conscious, self-interrupting, heavily-footnoted style. Some people dismiss it as pretentious or as a kind of academic pandering, but I think his suicide represents a final verdict that shows he was his own biggest critic.

I am a huge admirer of DFW, and I’m not sure there’s ever been another writer so versatile. His work is at times manic, funny, quiet, sad, high-flying, firmly-grounded. Most of it is so multi-dimensional it defies description. He was a virtuoso who came closer to representing the way our brains process life than anyone else I can think of. His magnum opus – Infinite Jest – was 1000+ pages long and packed with footnotes, but as you read it you recognize that your own mind produces this kind of fractured and multi-layered narrative about every second.

Finally, it’s crystal clear in his writing and in the way he would talk about his writing that he wrote out of love. It feels trite to actually write that here, but I think the whole of his writing has a tenderness running through it that is ultimately about the pain of modern life. He recognized how difficult it is to live in the world we’ve made for ourselves, especially for people inclined to examine it.

He was one of those people, and in the end he couldn’t endure what he was able to see.

So, on that note, here are 5 things I love about the library…

1. Free WiFi
   Considering the small town library of my childhood didn’t even have computers (which took up whole rooms back then), you gotta love free access to the Internet.
2. Peace and Quiet
   Sure, I can find free WiFi and lively gaggles of hipsters and hippies at (respectively) Ritual Coffee Roasters or Farley’s, but when I want to actually do some work, I prefer a little more peace. At the library, you’re surrounded by people who are seriously and silently getting shit done. As an extra bonus, you don’t have to feel guilty for taking up a seat long after you’ve finished your coffee.
3. “Stealing” Music and Borrowing DVDs
   One of my favorite things to do at the library is to hit their A/V room and borrow a bunch of CDs before heading to a table to work. Then, while I work, I rip all the CDs into my iTunes. Right now, for example, I’m ripping Wilco’s “Sky Blue Sky.” Before I leave, I’ll borrow the second season of Lost, which I’ve been watching with my girlfriend.
4. Ridiculously Small Fines
   If you put embarrassment aside, the punishment for lateness at the library is almost silly. You can borrow as many as 50(!) books for three weeks, then renew them online for another three weeks, but if you forget to return them for a couple more weeks, you’ll owe the library like twelve cents. And then they don’t even make you pay what you owe. You can still borrow books. OK, I’m exaggerating the lowness of the fees a little – but just a little.
5. Self-Service
   On my library’s website, I can search for anything in their system. If they don’t have it, they let me search Link+ (a network of 51 libraries in California and Nevada) where I’m almost certain to find what I’m looking for. Once I find something, I can request them to hold it at the branch of my choosing. Then they email me to let me know when my request is ready to pick up. They email me again with a friendly reminder if I haven’t picked up my stuff after a few days, and again when it’s time to renew anything I’ve checked out

Of course, whenever you buy anything from Amazon, they generously suggest other books you might be interested in…

Amazon seems to recognize that guys who habitually purchase books on information design and software engineering need all the help we can get.

It’s nice to know they have my back.

“Dear Citizens of America,

In view of your failure to elect a competent President and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy), as from Monday next…”

The headline caught my eye today on the Digg front page. I clicked, and the first few lines of what I read next were immediately familiar. A quick Google search confirmed that it originated in an email that was widely circulated just after Bush won (or didn’t, I suppose) the presidential election in 2000. I’m sure I received it more than once.

It’s also important to note that John Cleese did not actually author the letter.

No doubt it was submitted and voted up by thirteen-year-old kids who don’t remember much about the year 2000, like most everything else on Digg, although in their defense, the version of the supposed Cleese letter they so recently swarmed around has been updated by someone who changed Tony Blair to Gordon Brown.

None of this was lost on the larger Digg audience, who were typically merciless in their comments: “This letter was discovered in a fossilized pterodactyl nest,” said one MJ Dub.

The letter in question apparently originated on an internal newsgroup at the U.K. office of a multi-national company. It’s unclear who the original author is, but it quickly took on a life of its own and has undoubtedly drawn contributions from numerous people.

The earliest version I was able to find on the magic Internet is very brief, containing only four points:

London, 8th November 2000.
To the citizens of the United States of America,

Following your failure to elect either a half decent candidate or man-monkey as President of the USA to govern yourselves and, by extension, the free world, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume a monarch’s duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, please comply with1 the following acts:

1. Look up “revoke” in a dictionary
2. Learn at least the first 4 lines of “God save the Queen”
3. Start referring to “soccer” as football
4. Declare war on Quebec

Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).

Thank you for your cooperation and…have a nice day!

Funny, but hardly rising to Cleese’s genius. Later revisions both tightened it and lengthened it considerably, however, and the incarnation that drew the recent flurry of Diggs goes like this (continuing from the quote at the top of this post):

Your new prime minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up “aluminium,” and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix “ize” will be replaced by the suffix “ise.”

3. You will learn that the suffix ‘burgh’ is pronounced ‘burra’; you may elect to spell Pittsburgh as ‘Pittsberg’ if you find you simply can’t cope with correct pronunciation.

4. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up “vocabulary”). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.

5. There is no such thing as “US English.” We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’ and the elimination of “-ize.”

6. You will relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”,
but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).

7. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will
be a new national holiday, but to be celebrated only in England. It will be called “Come-Uppance Day.”

8. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.

9. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

10. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean.

11. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric immediately and without the benefit of conversion tables… Both roundabouts and metrification will help you understand the British sense of humour.

12. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling “gasoline”) – roughly $8/US per gallon. Get used to it.

13. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call french fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with malt vinegar.

14. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

15. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer,” and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as “Lager.” American brands will be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

16. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors as English characters. Watching Andie MacDowell attempt English dialogue in “Four Weddings and a Funeral” was an experience akin to having one’s ear removed with a cheese grater.

17. You will cease playing American “football.” There is only one kind of proper football; you call it “soccer”. Those of you brave enough, in time, will be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a
bunch of Jessies – English slang for “Big Girls Blouse”).

18. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the “World Series” for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable and forgiven.

19. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

20. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due, backdated to 1776.

For more information on this urban legend and the provenance of the Notice of Revocation…, I suggest this article at About.com.

I know that work is not a good excuse, especially in light of the fact that during the busiest months in my entire life – in Singapore – I posted more frequently than ever.

But work has been busy. And I’m really enjoying it.

We just got a big write up on TechCrunch, and that’s raised the stakes a few notches. We now have upwards of a thousand people knocking on our door, asking to play with our beta.

I think I’ll be busy for a while.

This morning I found this collection of bad user-generated Amazon.com reviews of great books (that is, books commonly understood by scholars to belong in the canon of great literature).

Does authority matter outside the context of scholarship or government?

…faith tells [believers] they should read the Bible, but by reading the Bible they endanger their faith.

The SAB’s annotations flag things like

* Injustice
* Absurdity
* Cruelty and Violence
* Intolerance
* Contradictions
* Family Values
* Good Stuff
* Science and History
* Interpretation

One of the Bible stories that always bothered me is the story of God testing Abraham’s faith by asking him to sacrifice his only son Isaac. The SAB’s annotated version of this story points out various contradictions between the story and other passages in the bible and notes the violence, injustice and family values problems in the story with common sense assesments like this:

Abraham shows his willingness to kill his son for God. Only any evil God would ask a father to do that; only a bad father would be willing to do it.

Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on “I am not too sure.”

I generally agree, but I’d extend Mencken’s definition of “uncivilized” to include the young and less educated. I don’t mean to sound judgmental or dismissive. There’s a place in discourse for people who see things in black and white.

This has been on my mind again lately, and I’ve been thinking again about Mishima’s Runaway Horses, which I wrote about (along with Yann Martel’s Life of PI a few months back.

In Runaway Horses, Isao is a young revolutionary. Passionate, impulsive and utterly sure of himself. His unwavering believe in a higher cause is his reason for being. It’s what drives him to action and ultimately destroys him.

Honda, on the other hand, is an older man who has learned to moderate his beliefs. He is a reflective, nuanced thinker. He is an observer who more or less understands what makes people tick. He also acknowledges his own limitations and his inability to fully understand anything. In a world where most things make sense, and the rest is beyond one’s grasp, who’s to say what’s right and wrong? Morally speaking, Honda is a paralytic.

The more one knows, the less one does.

On the other hand, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

hmmm