flights

Have you ever noticed the way American beer commercials emphasize packaging gimmicks? The wide-mouth can. The label that turns blue when it’s cold. The easy-pour vent. The shelf pack that fits better in your fridge.

Are there people who peruse the beer aisle thinking, “hmm… you know I really enjoy [favorite microbrew/import], but it pours all splashy, and I can’t tell if it’s cold without picking it up. I guess I’ll take the Coors.”

In the same vein, I was listening to the radio the other day, and a commercial for Miller Lite came on. Apparently, they took the top award for “American Style Light Lager” at the World Beer Cup in 1996, ’98, ’02 and ’06. Well whoop-dee-doo. American Style Light Lager? Really? There’s an award for that? How many beers could possibly be competing in the American Style Light Lager category? “American Style” itself narrows the field quite a bit, since American microbreweries typically produce traditional European style beers. This leaves you with just the big brands. When you add “Light” to the mix, you’re down to what, three beers? And Miller Lite is bragging that they won the top award only four times in the last twelve years.

The thing is, I don’t actually have a problem with the taste of some of the big brand American beers. I’m more than happy to drink MGD at a ball game.

They way these guys mostly brag about the packaging though, you’d think they’re embarrassed about their own product.

‘h’ is for hypocrisy.

If the premier selling point of a hybrid vehicle is fuel economy, then you have to wonder why Lexus won’t reveal how economic the 600h actually is. This information is nowhere on the Lexus website or in most of the 3rd party reviews.

It took me some digging, but I did finally find a review that addresses the fuel economy of the 600h and as you might guess from all the secrecy, it’s not great. In fact, Lexus estimates the 600h will only get about 20mpg in the city, which is just 4mpg better than the non-hybrid LS 460. Bad, but not terrible for a big luxury car I suppose. But how about the fact that the 600h will only get 22mpg on the highway, which is worse than the 460. All this for $110,000.

The bottom line is the 600h is a stupid novelty designed to help limousine liberals feel better about themselves. And based on the latest Lexus commercials – where they make the ‘h’ out to be a kind of badge of moral superiority – they seem to know it.

Two thumbs way down Lexus.

From the image above, you know I’m not talking about the notorious former football great.

In case you’re counting, yes, that’s twelve varieties of Tropicana orange juice. Twelve! And that’s not including the orange juice blends (orange-tangerine, orange-pineapple and orange-strawberry-banana).

There are varieties to suit various pulp-tolerances of course, but also tastes (low acid) and nutritional needs (calcium, fiber). There’s an orange juice for kids for some reason, one just for your heart and one to “reduce the effects of oxidation.”

Next up, maybe we’ll see one just for men (Tropicana E.D.), one for seniors (Tropicana Hip Therapy), dogs (Tropicana Liver and Bacon), hell, why not senior dogs (again, I suppose, Tropicana Hip Therapy).

If that’s not enough, maybe Tropicana will scrap them all and replace them with an in-store orange juice configurator kiosk. You dial your pulp up or down, add any combination of nutrients, answer some demographic and lifestyle questions and… voila: personalized orange juice.

Until then, make room in your pantry.

Is it really too much trouble to add flavor to your water after you pour it?

I was busy washing dishes while my girlfriend was watching TV in the background (yeah, that’s how things roll at my house), when a commercial for PUR Flavored Water Filters came on. I couldn’t believe my ears. I didn’t want to believe my ears. Once, under similar circumstances I’d mis-heard a commercial for “Immodium EZ Chews” as “Immodium Easy Cheese” (which actually makes some sense), so it wouldn’t be the first time I made up a fictional product based on partially overheard background TV.

But alas, this one is real, and quick perusal of the blogopolis reveals that the proletariat (as Tony would say) is in favor of this one…

I am interested in trying Pur flavored water from my tap at home. Where can I purchase the filter? Thank you.

I really want this! I have the regular PUR filtration system, and now I want the flavor one!!! I can’t find it anywhere though. Where is a place to pick one up?

I’m looking into getting this. My brother goes through a case of water every 3 days and that’s pushing it. Besides I need to drink more and this would get me started as I do like the Dasani flavored waters.

Humanity is doomed.

Interestingly, Dr. Tanase’s blog points out a problem with the PUR flavored filters that goes beyond the sheer inanity of them:

These new “flavored” filters add two excitotoxins to your liquid nourishment – Sucralose and Acesulfame-K. And if those harmful chemicals and the 92 side effects they’re known to cause (like these) weren’t enough, they also added a yummy dose of antifreeze (propylene glycol) to the mix.

Yum.