a traveller in my own city

I’m in San Francisco this week, and because I have tenants living in my apartment, I’m staying a hotel near Union Square. I thought it would be fun, but honestly it feels a bit lonely. I can’t put my finger on exactly why, but I think it has something to do with the fact that my familiar life, my friends, etc. are just on the other side of my window, while what’s on this side is the transient life I’ve been living for a few months now. I have an apartment in Singapore and a hotel room in my own city, which makes me feel a little off-center and challenges my definition of home.

When you return from an extended absence, you want things to be basically the same as they were when you left. There’s been a lot of change around here. Some good friends – very talented people – have left or are leaving the company, for example, and one friend in particular obviously feels differently about me than before. It completely makes sense; I just wasn’t prepared for it. So I’m feeling a little sad today, but life happens, and change happens.

My hotel tried to sell me a tour over the weekend. I told them I actually live in San Francisco, so now they probably think I was kicked out of my home by an angry girlfriend or something – especially since I told them I wasn’t sure when I’d be checking out. Anyway, maybe I should embrace the transient aspect of my trip and book the tour.